You Are Not Yourself: 222 Days of Meditation
One of the things that have changed my life for the better is meditation. I’ve written about it previously on this site. It’s one of the first things I devoted myself to when starting all of the various Super Geek Life projects. All of the things in that past article are still valid, perhaps even more so now.
Compare:
When I wrote the first article I was 51 days in with a total number of 53 sessions used for a grand total of 8 hours of meditating.
For comparison currently I am at 222 days of mediation with 199 sessions completed for a total of 36 hours of meditating. This is a massive leap forward and my streak is not anywhere near ending.
*In Headspace, if you repeat the same guided session your session counter doesn’t increase thus my day streak is not equal to the number of sessions.
Clarification:
This is only counting the Headspace app meditation, not any of the meditation I’ve been doing on my own. I still am loving Headspace and will continue to do it though I find myself quite able to meditate without a guided session now. To put this into perspective, the Dalai Lama once said that it takes around 50 hours of total meditation to see significant changes. I’m nearly there and I’ll write again when I’m well past it for perspective.
Why and when I started:
Tim Ferriss was one of the reason’s I took up the regular practice of meditating. It was through him that I actually found out the bit about the Dalai Lama as well. I had dabbled in meditation prior to this streak but never as a serious practice. Then when delving headlong into Super Geek Life and researching I came across something in Ferriss’ “Tools of Titans”. To clarify, Tim has used this statement on his blog and other works; I first read it in “Tools of Titans” though.
The statement is (and I’m paraphrasing) that meditating is the one of the few things you can do that will improve all other things. It is a meta skill. It has the power to improve all other facets/skills in your life. I’ve discussed this. Additionally though most people that have achieved massive success use some kind of meditation. I figured there must be something to it.
Why write again:
So why am I writing about this topic again. I stated earlier that all of the things still remain true in the old article. This is a continuation of that. So assuming I’m seeing all of those benefits I wanted to add to it. I truly cannot stress its importance.
First off, while I was initially writing at 51 days in there are a significant number of issues and emotional states I’ve been in since then. Those first 51 days were a cakewalk. It was new and exciting. I was focused on researching the new. Now it’s habitual. I do the sessions without question. I make room for mindfulness activities outside of simple meditation. Integration of these practices into my everyday life is the norm.
So what?
Something amazing has happened. I struggle to find the exact words in which to state this but here it goes. The interesting thing is that all the other works I’ve read involve this simple thing occurring.
The thing is this:
I am not myself. You are not yourself.
Before you run, let me explain. In your mind there is a little voice clambering on. It never shuts up. The voice spews out your insecurities in your ear and tells you you’re an idiot. It tells you to do things that are not a good idea. Sometimes it tells you good things too, but no one ever complains about those.
The thing is this, it sounds like you. It takes your voice. It takes the thoughts and chemicals and emotions you are experiencing and turns them into the language you speak. It puts things on repeat. It keeps you up at night sometimes.
That’s my inner dialogue right?
Well it sounds like you and certainly there is an inner dialogue in your head as well. The difference is simple though. When you start talking to someone out loud, you can choose to stop talking. Even when you’re thinking through things you can choose your words and form sentences in your head. You can choose those words and switch topics.
The other guy in your head though, the one that won’t shut up. He sounds like you, but guess what, he’s not you. You can’t control him. Trying to control him is just as fruitless as you trying to stop the tide. You can’t.
This is a pivotal moment when you understand this. Not just understand it but believe it. It was the pivotal moment (in my opinion) that began Dan Harris’ meditative journey in his book “10% Happier”.
Why this is important:
When I started I think I understood but didn’t fully believe. Once you commit to actually not fighting this voice in your head than it starts to have less control over you. Once it has less control over you than you are more in control of your life generally.
It’s important to understand that no matter how much you meditate you’re still going to have days where it’s hard to do it. Don’t get me wrong, I have gotten better at it. Even so, there are days where for whatever reason, my mind is noisy, I am frustrated, restless, or just plain demotivated. It has become pivotal for me to meditate on these days especially. On any day where you would have trouble meditating, that’s when you need it the most.
Much like anything else, to see it work you have to put the time in. And though I am loathe to call meditating work, you need to work at it to fully understand it. Additionally you will never actually fully understand it, so you have to keep at it.
The voices separate:
The point is that when you believe that the voice isn’t actually you, you can train to ignore it. You will understand that you can choose to take note of it or let it be. Some days will be harder than others as it tends to be louder and more invasive in difficult situations. You have to remember that it is not you.
You are, therefore, not yourself and I am not myself.
Or rather you are not your self.
As I am not my self.
If you believe this than you can at least take the first step of ceasing to control the voice. Once again this is difficult because it sounds like you. It also knows you well. It may still triumph from time to time. But the more you meditate, the more you commit to your understanding of the situation, the less this voice controls. He’s more like someone shouting at you from a car as it goes down the street. Don’t latch onto that car, just let it pass.
On continuing the practice:
I’m going to continue using a mixture of apps and activities to meditate. I’m kind of OCD about my Headspace streak so I’ll definitely continue with that.
I just wanted to add a side note that the founder of Headspace, Andy Puddicombe has continued to inspire and just seems to be a great guy. He takes so much time out of his day to encourage his users or people that reach out to him. Super Geek Life has reached out on more than one occasion and he congratulated my streak many times. Each congratulatory remark was individualized. He even asked for a link to the first article on the site. This gave me the warm fuzzies.
Send me the link..would love to read that piece. Stick with it. 176 days is a great run streak
— Andy Puddicombe (@andypuddicombe) August 1, 2017
It told me that he is passionate and the real deal about what he does. It also encourages and inspires me to achieve that level of fulfillment out of whatever I choose to do. Thanks Andy! Keep being great!
For the rest of you, stay geeky, and start meditating!
